NSA

We see all your password reset attempts. why try and hack in when you can just buy this account? Just send 40 BTC here: bc1qs2ddnrtlkq4k243n457m3qxku7s4344quwttgz once it lands, the account is yours.

@HiK_Bye define 'subtweet', and if it's public, then yes.

Sadly, this is how our interviews have been going lately: youtube.com/watch?feature=pl…

Ofuk, you want metasploit? You don't have the XP. You have to go to the murky swamp and fight the squidmonster.

You want ettercap? Cave. Dungeon. Bring a sword. Oh, you need libraries to install it? See the wizard on the mountain. GOOD LUCK! :D HAH!

Where this angry mechanic got skeletons and monsters and whatnot to protect his tools? No idea. But it's how we model the NSA now.

I think the world of D&D was invented by an angry mechanic who was sick of people using his tools, so he hid them in caves and dungeons.

CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a wonderful 3 day 2 night stay at the beautiful Guantanamo Bay spa and resort! Enjoy the 24/7 WATERBOARDING!

So did you like our little facebook 'hiccup' yesterday? We have all the amateur porn you guys keep pumping into private messages. Its gross.

Oh. God dammit. Someone let Zalgo out of his cage, and he's loose in the facebook datacenter.

Our torrent ratio is 0 to 78326598126349871623984761982367591651347868923645

Please stand by: Facebook is suffering some intermittent outages while we basically re-enact Killer Clowns from Outer Space on it.

I DIDN'T DO IT.

Uh, did facebook just go down?

Which, I suppose can be argued is ironic - hollywood writing 0days against .gov. Then .gov ignoring the disclosure. KINDA LIKE INFOSEC

So basically if you're a terrorist, you should run to get elected somewhere. Basically do homeland. Homeland is our 0day. I guess.

Basically, we don't spy on congress or senate. So if ONE OF THEM was a terrorist? Prism wouldn't catch them.

If you've ever asked "I wonder if I'm on a list", we put you on a list. Infinite recursion.

Now, how hilarious would it be if we fired all our sysadmins and just "went to the cloud"? You dont need sysadmins for cloud!

Contractors are meat shields. They take all damage dealt, we don't have to roll 2 d6+10 for damage control. totally legit.