corpfessions

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You lost wagie, and the NEET has won. I told you this would happen you delirious chimp, I told you your labor was fruitless - that it was all in vain. The real work was avoiding every sort of social contraption and familial pressure to conform to the grey n glazed worldview of your 9-5 soul sucking, IPA guzzling, tinder swiping, weekend hiking, happy hour attending, gf obeying, traffic sitting, back aching life. You will NEVER understand the beauty of city silence at 2AM on a Tuesday, you could never FATHOM the peace I found - while you cucks stare at yourselves during your 4th Zoom of the day. Your disrespect for life is sickening, your naivety pathetic. You will never learn the knowledge and secrets I gained staring into the dark distance at the water's edge. Thank you for showing me the path into oblivion- May it rot you into perpetuity. You have failed this incarnation my friend. May you treat your NEET brothers better in the next life.

I work in HR. Something my company is having us do now is taking someone's PTO days and plugging them into ChatGPT and asking chat whether any events that are related went on at those dates. You would be surprised how accurate the outputs are. For example, the last person I did it on over a year period, almost every date he took off was correlated with some kind of furry event. I scared the crap out of him when I offhandedly mentioned it one time. Anyway, I just want to warn everyone your company is definitely using AI to track your PTO and will probably factor into getting you fired or replaced in the future.

I watch kdramas all day long at work :))))))) Women still hate me tho :(((((((

Worked with a guy for 3+ years at a company with a few hundred employees. Dude was probably the worst, was always on a performance improvement plan and always got the lowest bonus possible for just being shit. Well I guess he could see the writing on the wall that he was getting fired the next review cycle. So one day he comes to the office in a dress, the worst wig you can imagine, and badly applied makeup. He looked like a cheap whore. At first I thought he was fucking insane for that. Even though trooning out is common in tech companies for autist employees, this guy showed zero signs. Instead of getting fired, he was taken off his pip, was given a higher bonus and was allowed to work from home, which is only really given to the top employees. Whenever he's on a Zoom call he doesn't even try to hide that he's faking it. Just throws on the wig and goes about the call normally. It's extremely jarring. But it's fucking genius tbh. No matter what you see in the news, woke is still very much alive in big tech. The HR goblins wouldn't dare to fire him or her or whatever he actually is now. Starting to think the troon stuff is just a massive grift to secure a high paying job.

Sometimes I wonder if my job is useful to society or the corporation itself. Should I be happy for being just a small cog in the machine?

Factory worker in Canada. Went for an orientation at a new job. I walked in and immediately saw almost the entire room filled with Indians barring me, a couple of other white guys and a few black guys. The lady giving the orientation is doing it completely in Hindi. I actually couldn't believe it. Raised my hand and told her I don't speak Hindi and have no idea what she's saying. She just ignored me, kept going, and at the end I got a pamphlet riddled with spelling mistakes outlining what she was supposed to actually tell us in English. Canada should just rename itself to New India at this point.

I worked at a car wash when I was younger and my main job was drying the cars with the Mexicans at the end of the tunnel. the front of house sales positions were they put the good looking employees and a fat sweaty ugly chud like me was stuck doing the harder work. The sales guys made our rate of pay, plus tips and commission. Proof that life is harder when you’re on ugly mode.

A new South Asian employee at work asked me on a date (over text). I respectfully rejected him and gave the excuse I don't date co-workers. Well, fast forward a week later, I'm in HR. Apparently an "anonymous" co-worker reported me for being racist against South Asians. I clocked who it was instantly and told the HR lady that rejecting someone for a date isn't racism. He didn't even bother deleting his text exchange with me and he DM'd me on his work phone to my personal phone. A few more weeks went by. Heard nothing. Then finally, a friend of mine who works in HR told me that the original HR lady rightfully wanted to fire the guy, but her superior (who also happens to be South Asian btw) decided that putting him on a PIP was enough. I should quit this job.

I work at a law office so you’d assume a prerequisite to that would first be to know how to fucking read, but apparently all of the attorneys here are illiterate. They ask me to read shit that is CLEARLY on their calendar and it answers every little dumbass question they could possibly have but still ask me…like why the fuck am I doing this in detail if you’re just gonna ask me dumb fucking questions anyway? I also can’t STAND that they won’t let me just answer the phone without inserting themselves into it. Like bro, if it was for you, I’d say so you annoying idiot. Or you COULD JUST ANSWER THE PHONE YOURSELF. Also making me look like a moron is their favourite, like not calling a client because they feel like taking care of personal business instead of I don’t know…doing their fucking job? I want to jump of the building, worst thing is I need this job, or I'll be broke. FML.

Working at a mental health hotline is extreme emotional whiplash. At my last shift, I went from spending hours talking someone off the metaphorical ledge to a guy who was clearly gooning while pretending to be suicidal. I don't even want to open that can of worms.

I work for a small IT company. My coworker is Indian. When I first started there years ago I was slacking off a lot but then at the end of the day I would see I still got way more done than them. I wondered how this was possible - it was very confusing. Fast forwards after years working with this Indian - I've found countless emailed deleted and unanswered, countless tickets where the customer writes back to him angry because he obviously didn't read their first email. Countless simple tickets where he didn't do the basic troubleshooting. And now that AI is out, he is copy/paste huge walls of text directly out of AI into the email for the customer. Oftentimes the tone isn't right and it doesn't address their problem. In the most recent case, I him and a customer had been emailing back and forth several times - I jump in the ticket and, with 5 min of basic troubleshooting, could see what the problem is. We do Zoom meetings and he barely seems to be listening. My boss will say his name and ask him a question, and 95% of the time my boss has to repeat his name several times because he is zoned out. My boss has total rose colored glasses, likes this guy, and would never fire him. Any normal worker from the Western world could easily outperform this guy after a few months. He has worked here 5+ yrs and fails to do the stuff one should know by week 1 of employment. He is worse than useless and has definitely hurt our company over all these years. It would be better to have an understaffed help desk with slower ticket turnaround time.

There’s a black product manager in a language learning company who gamed the system and became a product manager. She is a liar, disgusting piece of shit who just uses Claude to come up with slop PRDs and endless Notion docs and endless slack threads. Her vocabulary is like glitched/chopped/cookin. This dumb bitch moves her fingers in calls as though she is doing some dance, so distracting. I’d never want to work with her. She also knows how to game the system to pass interviews, her accent is awful, she kisses ass of the higher up and she wears makeup on calls, but her forehead looks like an ass. Disgusting.

I work as a nanny for a couple who both work full time. They have 3 kids. Basically, the parents never see the kids. The youngest one even thinks I'm her mother. They live in a house worth 7 figures, and both could quit and live incredibly comfortably. I don't get why the wife chooses to work, she is some marketing lead at her husband's company but it seems more like she spends most of her time flying around the country. Anyway they both clearly hate each other, and each pays me to give dirt on the other. I tend to not say anything unless it's a decently sized bribe. I hope this goes on for a few more years, I'll be able to pay full ride college for my 2 sons.

I'm a couples therapist. I've seen a lot of crazy stuff over the years, but the worst always has to be the WMAF couples. It's always the two most dysgenic people you've ever seen in your life, and more often than not, they are in therapy for something totally unhinged, like the wife wanting to "open the marriage" to some random black guy she's been secretly fucking on the side, or another couple who was convinced their son would be a school shooter. I have never had a WMAF couple come in who were normal. The only upside is I can charge them basically almost anything and they always pay on time.

When I was 18 I pushed trolleys for a living and the head manager of the supermarket was banging this roastie married till/checkout manager, her husband did 7 years in prison for GBH after he stomped on a guys head and put him in a coma. One day he came in looking for the manager and all hell broke loose. Working in retail really was like a sitcom. A few years after I left a guy who took over from trollies after my shift ended ended up dying suddenly in the storage warehouse and wasn't found til the next morning when no one knew where he was.

I’m convinced if everyone were union, cancel culture never would’ve happened. My first job was at a hospital, and half of everyone got away with doing the most perverted & obscene garbage. I got hired when a guy finally got fired after getting caught for the 3rd time jacking off with the breast pump in the breastfeeding alcove. & he only got fired the 3rd time he was caught because he finished in it & didn’t bother cleaning it out that time.

I work in the kitchens for certain tech companies in SF. Mainly, my job is restocking food, snacks etc for employees to take as they please. Now, this all operates on an honor system. You took as much as you needed in the moment to satisfy that craving/hunger. Well after a certain group infested SF through H1B visas, I have caught people literally shoving food into their backpacks, and even taking bottles of milk, sugar, coffee, etc. Now the owner of my company might lose her business because these tech companies are just handing out cash credits for people to buy lunch instead of offering in house food because of the abuse. 2 decade old mom&pop about to be destroyed because of a certain stingy group. The funny thing is, the few times I catch them in the act when I do a restock, they act stupid and say "It's their right to take it because they work here" (it's not). After I explain the concept of an honor system to them, they just look at me like I'm dumb. This is what is going to happen. All the nice things we enjoy are going to be stripped away because of people who have zero care about anyone but themselves.

Well, I was finally broken. My Dad passed away, I had to work to take care of him. I have nothing left in my bank account, but I don't care. I'm going to take as much loans out as possible and go on a giant bender all around the world. Whatever happens after that, I don't care.

FUCK TRUMP. I literally left the US in July of 2025 when it became clear that he wasn't going to actually fix anything. Uprooted my life to moved to a new position in the UAE. It was the perfect job. High salary, all my living expenses were comped, a luxury condo and (the best part) I literally did not do shit all day. I honestly prayed EVERY SINGLE DAY that I could get to that point in my career, and it finally happened. Then that orange faced imbecile decided to start a war with Iran, and all foreign workers in my company were pulled and forced to go back to their native countries after the UAE started getting bombed. I found out yesterday they won't be renewing our contracts. I had the perfect life and he fucking robbed me. And what do I come back to? A favela but everything costs a premium. Fuck my life.