Jeremy Clarkson

My dear friend @JamesBlunt has asked me to buy his new record and I will, just as soon as he buys some Hawkstone for his pub.

Monty Don’s sign off. A masterclass.

Patrick Stewart. Turned up so early and so unobtrusively to be a star in the reasonably priced car, we mistook him for a delivery driver and asked him to go round the back. Took his hat off and said, “But I’m the captain of the Enterprise”. Fucking nice guy.

That new Alfa. Wow.

Clarkson’s Farm won an NTA this evening. But in my mind, people were voting for farmers in general. Not just us.

Also. Tomorrow at the Farmers Dog, we are showing the race, and we have an Alpine car there for people to see how fast they can change a wheel. Oh, and simulators and a live link to pole sitter @PierreGASLY. And Martin Brundle’s lot.

Right. @PierreGASLY No pressure but if you translate that pole into a win, the whole team gets a Hawkstone. Go Chipping Norton team.

Er. Alpine. I’m so happy for them.

Weird night. Andy Cato from Groove Armada and me, from all those car shows, launched a new beer. Hawkstone Wildthing. Regen lager. No-one saw that coming. But fuck me, it’s good. Shake that ass. Speed and power.

Old person musing. I went for a walk with my three year old grand daughter this morning and in addition to all the farm animals, we saw a rabbit, a deer and loads of butterflies and she was constantly amazed. And my God, I was so so happy.

Until last week, men over 50 were entitled to a free PSA prostate cancer check. But the government has now decided to withdraw that right. I cannot for the life of me work out what their reasoning might be.

Don’t worry if your A level results are a bit disappointing. I got a C and two Us. And this evening I shall sit in my agreeable garden, drinking beer from my own brewery and eating food from my own farm. Prepared by my own chef.

Brexit enthusiasts: I hope you’re all enjoying the queues at your holiday airports this year.

Oh no. Diana Rigg and now Kevin Keegan gone. The only two well known Doncastrians left are Louis Tomlinson and me. Mexborough doesn’t count Blessed.

It was hard to dislike our opponents last night. On Wednesday however….

Come on Egypt. What a match.

I’ve only just woken up. What a night. What a performance. What a match. Well done England. That was fantastic.

I’ve always never been able to decide which is Britain’s most beautiful bit: North Devon or the Yorkshire Dales. But I’ve just spent the last three days in the Scottish Borders and now I have an answer. God almighty, they’re beautiful. Also, I bought some cows there.

I’m watching this match in Scotland. If we lose, send help.

For crying out loud: it’s “The DRC”, not “Dr Congo”