John C. Reilly (@JohnCReilly_) profile picture

John C. Reilly

@JohnCReilly_

Boats N' Hoes (PARODY Account) In no way affiliated with John C. Reilly. Contact: ITSJohnCReilly@Gmail.com

 w/my bestfriend @FillWerrell
Joined April 2012
  • Tweets132
  • Following1
  • Followers542
Three reasons to stand up: 1. To get the remote 2. To go to the bathroom 3. Because you're the real slim shady
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Best kinds of laughter: 1] Laughing so hard that your laugh becomes silent. 2] Feeling a 6 pack coming. 3] Tears coming out of your eyes.
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I didn't text you last night… Vodka texted you.
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#LiesMenTellWomen Ummmm, it's about 8 inches.
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That awkward moment when you realize that person wasn't waving at you.
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"You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that." - Life
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Rihanna should just date Lebron James. He doesn't beat anyone.
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We just made eye contact.. she wants the D.
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That awkward moment when you post a status and no one likes it, so you end up deleting it.
Eyeing your toys suspiciously after watching Toy Story.
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#NameAFollowerYouSmashed ?? lmao twitter would get too real if people start doing this.
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I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question.
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I'm not fat. My stomach's 3D.
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There's medicine for depressed lesbians, it's called Trycoxagan.
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Why post a picture on Facebook with the caption 'OMG!! I'm sooooooooo ugly' and then get annoyed when I agree?
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I don’t have insomnia, I have Internet connection.
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Airplanes have now banned tweezers. I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane.
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#BlackBabyNames - Cornbreesha, Obamaniqua, Koolaidria, Watermelondrea, Fri'Chickenisha. Colla'Greeniqua and Grapedrankisha
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Whenever I talk with someone who stutters... I yell "REMIX"
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EVERYONE GO FOLLOW @FriendlyRacist !!!!!! TOO FUNNY !!!!!!
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