S. P. Cooper 🍋

I think that this is exactly correct. Forgiveness is not itself an exterior act that demands some particular way of relating to the one that you are forgiving. Forgiveness is an interior act of the will. It may be true both that a) you cannot fully reconcile every relationship (in the sense of it returning to complete normlacy with no parameters, punishments, etc.) and b) that any reconciliation is contingent upon the recognition and remorse of the offending party. However, neither of those things changes the command that we interiorly forgive our and love our enemies. Flowing from that, we ought to be ready and willing to reconcile as far as prudence and justice allow. But to make our interior act of forgiveness conditional, contingent upon our enemy's recognition of their offense and desire to reconcile is in a very real way to maintain that one should only love one's friends (or should only love another under the aspect of friendship/potential friendship). What Christ teaches us is rather to love and forgive *enemies*. His uncreated grace to save us from sin always comes before any turn back toward God on our part. And we are called to love in just this way.