Old books, movies and music. Keeping Twitter busy since 2014.
A library of the mind
Joined December 2014
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Hello, and welcome to the pulp library, a bibliothèque of bemusement! You can find my previous threads here: threadreaderapp.com/user/Pul…
BBC Producer: "So this is the new record from Plastic Bertrand, the latest sensation from Belgium. And you're..."
Choreographer: "...going to dress in plastic bags and wave baguettes!"
*BBC Producer: "Erm..."
Choreographer: "Too punk? We could make it half baguettes?"
You know you can take a screenshot of a tweet by putting it inside a Victorian mimeograph and turning the handle.
Sheet music for the song Arnold Layne, by The Pink Floyd. Dunmo Music, 8 Denmark Street London 1967.
Dunmo, like most music publishers, moved out of Denmark Street some years ago and the Crossrail redevelopment changed some of the street for good. However there are still plenty of guitar shops still there if you are in the Charing Cross area and want to browse for a while.
The Batman & Robin Storybook. Landoll's, 1997.
I'm going to get booed for this, but I don't think the Bat costume is too bad from the '97 movie. It's got a bit of German Expressionism, a bit of Egyptian Anubus, a bit of Nokia 3110. It works.
"For mash get Smash." People are surprised that Smash instant mashed potato was originally made by Cadbury, which is famous for making chocolate. But Cadbury did other things too and launched Smash in the 1960s during the British mania for dehydrated food.
The UK liked things that could be kept in a cupboard - next to the Vesta ready meals and the Cup-A-Soup - not least because widespread fridge ownership was only at 50% by the mid-'60s. Batchelors Foods was the dominant company in the dried goods field, so how could Cadbury gain a foothold in the market?
Advertising!
In 1974 they gave the Smash account to Boase Massimi Pollitt, who created one of the most memorable UK TV adverts of all time: the Smash Martians. These lovable robots laughed at the humans still peeling, boiling and mashing their spuds. How primitive and slow!
Peter Hawkins did the voices for the robots (he did all the voices in Captain Pugwash as well as narrating Superted and The Family Ness) and soon toy versions were available in the shops as Britain went Smash mad.
Smash is now owned by Premier Foods, which also owns Batchelors, so the circle is now complete. Other instant mash is available, but Smash is the brand we all remember even if we've never eaten it.
Did you know about the frog farming craze of 1933?
Well it actually happened. The American Frog Canning Company of New Orleans launched a sure-fire money making scheme for Americans during the Great Depression: raise Nufond Giant frogs. It was a quick, cheap and tasty alternative for the dinner plate and the AFCC were going to corner the market in it, as well as buying your surplus.
A range of adverts appeared in various magazines encouraging hard-pressed households to explore 'A Future In Frogs' by digging their own pond and raising their own box of frogs. AFCC would send you the instructions and the breeding pack.
It didn't work. Frogs take three years to mature and they eat a lot, including other tadpoles. Diseases could wipe out a pond in a matter of days. Plus America wasn't all that interested in frogs legs for dinner. The authorities were not impressed, there was legislation and lawsuits and by the end of the decade AFCC was out of business.
I'm not sure if frog farming will make a comeback, but if you see any adverts for it beware - history suggests you shouldn't take the leap!
A few tips for Letraset users when you run out of letters:
- turn the capital A upside down and cut out the centre bar to make a V
- put a capital F and L over each other to make a capital E
- cut out umlauts to use as full stops
And (of course) start laying out in the middle of the sentence line and extend slowly left and right, to ensure even letter spacing.
Longtime readers know I'm a fan of Space Disco. Perhaps the only fan. So I make no apologies for introducing you to Spanish cosmic disco-funk troubadours Zoom, and their minor 1978 hit Space Rescue!
This track is a full cardiovascular workout, accompanied by some excellent spaceships that wouldn't be out of place on Panther editions of Isaac Asimov novels. It barely troubled the charts, but the full version ("Rescate Espacial") is available on their debut album Zoom from Polydor Records. Don't thank me, it's what I do.
Please don't try this dance on a full stomach...
Ballet Zoom started as the Ballet New Generation dance troupe in 1973 and were a familiar site on Spanish TV, dancing along with insane energy (and psychedelic backgrounds) to various songs.
There were various group members over the years and they are best remembered for a very bizarre dance dressed as cats: youtu.be/HpVXIH24KzQ
The group split up in 1978, with Bob Niko, Alberto González, Naomi Hussey, Charlie Hussey, Julie Croft, Sherry Sairafian and Jane Lee going on to form Zoom.
"The Hulk, but he's Sherlock Holmes and he turns into animals!" That's Manimal, Glen A. Larson's 1983 cop show that sadly only lasted eight episodes. But... people still remember it. That's the power of a hook.
Simon MacCorkindale had moved to the US in 1980 to pursue his acting career, but his cerebral, upper class style wasn't landing him too many parts. But the role of Professor Jonathan Chase seemed perfect for him: the English globetrotting scientist who somehow mastered the 'ancient arts' of species transformation from long hidden knowledge. Like Sherlock Holmes he became a consulting detective, but with the power to become any animal - usually a hawk or panther - to pursue villains.
Melody Anderson was also having problems landing roles after the 1980 movie Flash Gordon. Brooke Mackenzie was a glamorous streetwise cop in Manimal, and Anderson gave it her best shot, but the dialogue was cheesy and the plots rather plodding. But she and MacCorkindale looked good together, the show was unusual and it hit the sweet spot between science fantasy and police procedural so hopes were high.
They shouldn't have been. What's the point of the gimmick? Why is a panther essential for crime fighting? Where's the character arc? The prosthetics took a long time to do, the plots made no sense, the humour was crowbarred in. People stayed for the hook, but it wasn't catching anything. Running it opposite Dallas was disastrous, and CBS paused the show after only five episodes with the other three rushed out a month later.
But... like Street Hawk and Automan fans remembered it. Hooks work. People like futuristic things. TV shows with whizzy graphics and synthesizer soundtracks get attention. I'm not sure it would work better if you brought it back with modern CGI, but imagine a show with Manimal, Street Hawk and Automan all together!
Actually don't imagine it. It would be terrible, Some ideas are best left as fan fiction and bong dreams...
The Three Degrees: The Runner (1979). The group had signed with Ariola Records by 1978 and were working with Giorgio Moroder, who brought his disco magic to this song.
The Runner is a great track, taken from their 1978 album New Dimensions, which was a solid hit in Europe but not in the US. The B side of the single is simply a longer version of the A side, but the production - along with Sheila Ferguson's voice - means it's worth it.