obsessed with understanding humans - how to live a life of deeper connection with yourself & the world around you. social, dating, aliveness coaching👇🏼
Palo Alto, CA
Joined May 2020
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how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
really just convinced everything is a muscle at the end of the day. socializing, being seen, being radically truthful, writing, speaking up for yourself. not something you have or don’t have - a muscle you have to work out just like any other
24 ways to make friends in *under* 60 seconds:
(from a professional socializer!!)
how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
how to make friends as an adult:
how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
going from friends to close friends is all about following a simple funnel:
> are you meeting people in general?
> are you meeting the RIGHT people?
> are you having consistent interactions?
> are you creating depth?
made a playbook with more - lmk if you want the link!
how to go from friends to close friends:
(big part of adulting is practicing this!!)
tips:
> put yourself out there and hang 1:1, even if it's out of the ordinary for your relationship
> make new memories together - don't just be 'catch up' friends. you need to create opportunities for new memories together
> create depth. vulnerability is key. open up about your REAL life - something you want advice on. people bond through depth
> find unexpected overlaps - same hometown, a shared hobby, a same set of values - it's more likely to make the connection stick
> follow-up on what's meaningful to them - check-in about their stressors, how the project went. BE there for them
> experience something new - go on a road trip, an adventure, a concert, etc
> naturally, living close to each other helps with this process
> recurring, recurring, recurring - you need repeat interactions to build depth
> unpack the qualities in common with people you're already close friends with & find ways to get closer with more of those people
> let it happen naturally - not every friend is going to turn into a close friend. there are different seasons, reasons for our friends and that's OKAY! don't force what isn't meant to be there
don’t be disappointed if this process fails with someone. there’s a lot of factors that have to go RIGHT to make a close friend: both available, both looking to expand their circle, etc. it's usually never personal & it's always worth putting yourself out there.
the right people will match your energy!!!
i'm proud of you!!!
go make those new close friends!!!
first viral IG video!!
been going hard at making short-form video content and this got 155K+ views and 2K+ followers (& counting)
feeling proud 💪
extra extra tips on how to socialize:
> you only get a 5-12 hours of real social time per week - protect them for people who energize you, not drain you
> reach out within 48 hours of meeting someone cool. the momentum dies FAST. text them before you overthink it
> create socializing rituals: monthly dinners, weekly walks, sunday calls. consistency builds depth
> be the person who initiates. most people are waiting for someone else to make plans - be that person!!
> when you vibe with someone new, don't wait for them to reach out. YOU can text first, YOU can suggest plans
> show up fully when you're together. put your phone away. present attention is the greatest gift
> check in on people even when you don't need anything. "thought of you!" texts or a memory you share - they make a difference
> try not to cancel on things last minute, if you can avoid it. show up for your friends - not only in their good times but in their hard times too
> host things!!! even just 4 people for dinner. be the person who brings people together
> invest energy in friendships that feel reciprocal. if you're always the one initiating, maybe they're not your people right now
> remember details about people's lives and follow up on them. "how did that interview go?" or "feeling better?" goes a long way
> be vulnerable. share real stuff, not just surface-level updates. that's where connection happens
> socializing requires effort and intentionality (we're in a loneliness crisis ya'll!!)
> consistency compounds. show up repeatedly and friendships deepen over time
socializing is one of the most important parts of a good life
invest in it like you would anything else that matters
you got this!!!
how to make friends as an adult:
(without the existential dread you've missed your chance)
tips:
> get off your couch
> say YES to things even if you're tired
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> show up consistently (don't flake)
> ask follow-up questions, remember the details, be vulnerable
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> prioritize friendship like you would exercise - it requires effort & time
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner), it's the fastest way to build a friend group
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> the power of network effects is real - you never know when someone introduces you to someone who becomes your new best friend
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got it!!!
I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
how to make friends as an adult:
(professional socializers vs normal people)
how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
the art to having a deep talk with anyone:
(underrated skill for connection)
how to create conversational ease:
> most people do not ask enough questions
> view information shared as the tip of the iceberg - a whole world of ideas, stories, and perspectives
> you just have to be daring enough to ask about it
your chance to connect deeply is right there - you just keep walking right past it
> people drop hints about themselves ALL the time
> a comment as simple as "I went to Peru this year" - a GOLDMINE of interesting convo
> why Peru? what drew you there? what moment stands out? what surprised you?
> follow the nudges & ask thoughtful questions to get to more intriguing topics
> once you're on a mutually interesting topic, lean in! enjoy, be curious, explore it
> vulnerability invites vulnerability. share things that others can latch onto to learn more about YOU
> give it at least 5-10 min, not every convo will have chemistry (that's normal) but the ones that do are magic!
you got this!!!
I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
a simple formula for making friends as an adult:
(comment if you want me to send you the full playbook)
how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
2
148
a better way to navigate the question: “what am I doing with my life”
you’re not being graded anymore:
> this can either be very suffocating or very freeing
> but it’s the new reality so learn to get comfortable with it
> there is no longer one map telling you what to do - *you* get to decide for yourself
> most people are out of touch with how to actually figure out what it is they want… they were always just told what to do
> grades, school, teachers - it all gave us structure and that’s all we knew for so long
> but you slowly see paths diverge. people ending up in different career paths, locations, marriages, partners, kids, income brackets
how to navigate the shift:
> stop asking “what am I doing with my life” it’s too big of a question (spoiler: most people don’t know anyway)
> move toward - “what do you want to aim for in the next month?”
> that moves you from a goal that’s impossible/daunting to something achievable
> identify what variables you’d most like to change in your life & where you want to move toward
> create BABY steps for yourself. if the step scares you, start smaller. life is just a series of the small compounding decisions we make over and over.
> learn what you DON'T want - elimination is just as valuable as finding what you love
> it's okay to want different things than others!! your timeline doesn't need to match theirs
> this is a lifelong journey. you won't figure it all out over night. commit to constantly re-evaluating what feels aligned
> find people who inspire you & ask for advice on how to get where you want to go
> nobody has it all figured out. everyone’s making it up. seriously.
> you have AGENCY! you get to decide what *you* want to do
so go start LIVING!!!
you’ve got the agency!!!
we’re all figuring it out!!!
you got this!!!
things I find (actually) embarrassing:
embarrassing yourself in pursuit of human connection looks like:
> go to things alone! you'll probably end up in more spontaneous situations anyway
> stop dimming your light to make others comfortable
> playing it cool is overrated and people will never be able to know the real you
> react authentically - laugh loudly, get animated, show emotion, be YOU!
> stop worrying about looking "too much" - you'll attract the right people and repel away the wrong ones by being authentically you
> embrace your energy - it makes you unique and MEMORABLE!!!
> surround yourself with people and spaces that light you up & make you feel like the BEST version of you
> build up the muscle - encourage yourself be 5% more expressive in any interaction
> compliment people genuinely. "you seem really interesting" beats small talk any day
> be expressive platonically - friends deserve your full excitement too :)
what feels embarrassing to you is usually just being human!!
we're STARVED for real connection
be REAL!!!
people are craving it!!!
my friend asked me if I had any tips for turning an acquaintance into a real friend
(of course I do!!!)
this is an underrated skill - most friendships die at the "we should hang sometime" stage
tips:
> stop waiting for an invite
> follow up within 48 hours while the momentum is there
> timing is KEY. the faster you connect, the most likely the connection will stay
> so ask them for their number and follow up!! "hey! so great meeting you, want to do X next week?"
> notice this ask is SPECIFIC - not just "hey want to hang sometime?"
(that probably won't go anywhere)
then there's 3 ways to invite them:
> do something 1:1 together: drinks, dinner, pickle ball, a walk, or some shared interest! keep it simple & low pressure.
> invite them to something you already do. gives them a very natural 'in' since it's already in your schedule!
> bonus if you met them at a weekly event: just ask if they'll be there again next week. it saves you the hassle of logistics
most people will be honored that you asked
and happy to have the chance at a new friend too!!
don’t be disappointed if this process fails with someone. there’s a lot of factors that have to go RIGHT to make a friend: both in town, both available, both looking to expand their circle, etc. it's usually never personal & it's always worth putting yourself out there.
the right people will match your energy!!!
go make that new friend!!!
extra extra tips on how to socialize:
> you only get a 5-12 hours of real social time per week - protect them for people who energize you, not drain you
> reach out within 48 hours of meeting someone cool. the momentum dies FAST. text them before you overthink it
> create socializing rituals: monthly dinners, weekly walks, sunday calls. consistency builds depth
> be the person who initiates. most people are waiting for someone else to make plans - be that person!!
> when you vibe with someone new, don't wait for them to reach out. YOU can text first, YOU can suggest plans
> show up fully when you're together. put your phone away. present attention is the greatest gift
> check in on people even when you don't need anything. "thought of you!" texts or a memory you share - they make a difference
> try not to cancel on things last minute, if you can avoid it. show up for your friends - not only in their good times but in their hard times too
> host things!!! even just 4 people for dinner. be the person who brings people together
> invest energy in friendships that feel reciprocal. if you're always the one initiating, maybe they're not your people right now
> remember details about people's lives and follow up on them. "how did that interview go?" or "feeling better?" goes a long way
> be vulnerable. share real stuff, not just surface-level updates. that's where connection happens
> socializing requires effort and intentionality (we're in a loneliness crisis ya'll!!)
> consistency compounds. show up repeatedly and friendships deepen over time
socializing is one of the most important parts of a good life
invest in it like you would anything else that matters
you got this!!!
btw I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
the cost of playing it safe for one year:
how to life maxx more:
> get off your phone
> say yes to spontaneous plans even when you're tired - some of the best nights are unplanned
> talk to strangers - at coffee shops, events, literally anywhere. serendipity maxx
> make a bucket list and work your way through said bucket list!!
> stop opting for boring hangs. switch things up with your friends. try something new!!
> start a random hobby just for fun - pottery, dance, improv, cooking. not everything needs to "be productive" ok??
> be 5% more silly in your life. dance in your room, sing badly in the car, crack a bad joke. it's not that serious. grow the silly muscle
> surround yourself with people who make you feel lighter - your time and energy is precious
> don't forget the basics: move your body, get sunlight, take your vitamins, eat well, sleep
> your time to live life is happening NOW so stop saving it for later!!
get off those phones & out into the real world people!!
lets go PLAY!!!
btw I put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
how to make friends as an adult:
(that no one tells you about)
how to make friends in a new city:
> say yes to everything for the first 3 months
> ask locals what they like to do in the area - you can follow their recs for inspiration
> when you vibe with someone, ask to hang. don't wait for them to initiate!!
> try multiple communities & events to see what resonates - don't commit to just one
> try to meet one new person at every event you go to
> you can be direct & open - "I just moved here & want to meet more people, want to grab coffee?"
> be specific about meeting up *at a specific day/time* not just some distant point in the future
> don't take rejection personally - people may be busy or have different schedules
> know that some amount of homesickness is normal - that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision
> stay in touch with your community from home so you don't feel so alone
> once you meet a few people, host small gatherings (even 4 people for dinner) - fastest way to build a friend group
> you never know if *someone* will introduce you to *someone* who becomes your new best friend. the power of network effects is real!!
> iterate over time - keep meeting new people, trying new things & have fun with it!
> give it TIME - it takes time to find your rhythm
NOW you can make friends wherever you go!!
just be intentional about finding them!!
your people are waiting to meet you!!!
you got this!!!
i put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
here it is & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
THE BOOK IS COMING TO LIFE!!!
introducing "hi stranger" playbook
comment if you want to get it when it drops!👇
how to have a deep talk with anyone:
how to create conversational ease:
> most people do not ask enough questions
> view information shared as the tip of the iceberg - a whole world of ideas, stories, and perspectives
> you just have to be daring enough to ask about it
your chance to connect deeply is right there - you just keep walking right past it
> people drop hints about themselves ALL the time
> a comment as simple as "I went to Peru this year" - a GOLDMINE of interesting convo
> why Peru? what drew you there? what moment stands out? what surprised you?
> follow the nudges & ask thoughtful questions to get to more intriguing topics
> once you're on a mutually interesting topic, lean in! enjoy, be curious, explore it
> vulnerability invites vulnerability. share things that others can latch onto to learn more about YOU
> give it at least 5-10 min, not every convo will have chemistry (that's normal) but the ones that do are magic!
you got this!!!
i put everything i know about making friends as an adult into one playbook
check it out here & follow along for more!
stan.store/adelebloch/p/my-g…
if i have any multi-millionaire/billionaires who are fans of my account & are interested in being a sponsor of said content - please do reach out :D (actually!)
sincerely,
a person who wonders if she should go back to a traditional job every other week but feels a deep commitment to keep creating for all of you
one of my good friends has a large billionaire patron who sponsors his content & is largely hands off. this means he doesn’t have to run specific sponsors or ads on his platform that feel unnatural & disruptive.
from a strict creator monetization + livability perspective this seems like the cleanest model for content creation.
i.e. creator can focus entirely on producing interesting work & the audience gets an undisturbed experience. the patron gets cultural influence, intellectual stimulation, or simply the satisfaction. more wealthy ppl should do this.