Drake really made a $20 million payout the latest conversation starter. Nobody was prepared for this one 😭
🤝 Paid partnership
9
LongLiveX! retweeted
JasonTheWeen playing it nonchalant he knows the game #JasonTheWeen
LongLiveX! retweeted
🚨 “Lamine Yamal gets zero special privileges.”
Luis de la Fuente sets the record straight on claims of preferential treatment, insisting every decision applies to all players and the squad is 100% united on it.
Does any manager truly treat their generational talent like everyone else?
LongLiveX! retweeted
Can someone explain what’s going on here to me… have watched but didn’t expect the ending part… OMG 😱 🙄😳
DOCTOR VS PATIENT: THE SECRET DISEASE*
*Doctor:* Good afternoon, Mr. Okoro. What brought you here?
*Patient:* Doctor, e get one thing wey dey worry me. E dey pepper me.
*Doctor:* Pepper you where?
*Patient:* Doctor, for... for that place.
*Doctor:* Which place? Chest? Stomach? Head?
*Patient:* Doctor, you know na... _that_ place. The place wey man dey use do man thing.
*Doctor:* Okoro, say it. This is hospital, not church. Say _penis_.
*Patient:* Doctor abeg no shout am. My wife dey outside dey hear.
*Doctor:* She is outside, not inside. Talk. When did it start?
*Patient:* E start on Monday.
*Doctor:* What happened on Sunday?
*Patient:* Nothing happened on Sunday.
*Doctor:* Okoro, look at me. I am a doctor, not your mother-in-law. Nothing you tell me will leave this room. What happened on Sunday?
*Patient:* Doctor, I go church on Sunday.
*Doctor:* After church?
*Patient:* I come back house. I chop rice.
*Doctor:* After rice?
*Patient:* I sleep.
A thread 🧵… continue reading 👇👇👇
LongLiveX! retweeted
Back when Kanye West fired his audio engineer during the Donda era for missing a studio session and told him to “FIND GOD.”😭
LongLiveX! retweeted
Hold on… how many hidden X features are we all missing without even knowing? 😭
Using X from 6 years,
Just got to know that you can take a screenshot of a tweet directly from the copy link option 🤯🤯🤯
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This is not widely available yet.
Grok and multiple users confirm it is available in recent app versions on Android and still rolling out. It is not present on iOS or the web version of X.
x.com/katerinaramm1/…
LongLiveX! retweeted
Host: Welcome back! My next guest is someone who has completely taken over the internet this week.
Please welcome… the woman who said “I don’t want drama” and then created the most dramatic year of her life.
Woman: Walks out smiling. Hello!
Host: You look amazing. But before we get into anything else… I have to address the elephant in the room.
Woman: Which one?
Host: The fact that you told the world you were “taking a break from men” and three weeks later posted a video of you and your new man on a yacht.
Audience: Bursts into laughter.
Woman: Laughs. I was on a break!
Host: A three-week break?
Woman: Yes. That’s a full break. Some people take three days and call it a sabbatical.
Host: And then you met him… where?
Woman: At the gym.
Host: Of course. The classic “I’m not looking for anyone” location.
Audience: Laughs.
Woman: In my defense, he spoke to me first.
Host: What did he say?
Woman: He said, “You look like you just got out of a relationship.”
Host: And that worked?!
Woman: It did. I was offended… then I was interested.
Audience: Roars with laughter.
Host: So he read you completely in one sentence?
Woman: Yes. And then he asked for my number before I could overthink it.
Host: Smart man. What happened after that?
Woman: We went on a date. Then another one. Then he met my friends. Then my mum called me and said, “I saw him on your story. Is this serious?”
Host: How long had you known him at that point?
Woman: Nine days.
Audience: Explodes with laughter.
Host: Nine days and your mother already knew about him?
Woman: My mother knows about men I haven’t even met yet. She’s very proactive.
Host: And now you two are…?
Woman: Taking things slow.
Host: You just told us you introduced him to your mother in nine days.
Woman: Smirks. Slow for me.
Audience: Laughs.
Host: Be honest. Are you happy or are you just enjoying the attention?
Woman: Both. But mostly happy.
Host: And what happens if this one ends?
Woman: I’ll take another break.
Host: How long this time?
Woman: Smiles. Depends on how cute the next one is.
Audience: Erupts in laughter.
Host: Ladies and gentlemen, she came here to promote peace and somehow just admitted she might be back in three weeks. 😂
THE WORK PLACE AFFAIR – THE HR HEARING
HR Manager: Please state your name for the record.
Employee: Sarah Bennett.
HR Manager: Ms. Bennett, can you explain why you requested this formal hearing?
Sarah: Because I found evidence that my husband, who also works in this company, has been having an affair with one of my colleagues. And the company has been covering for both of them.
HR Manager: What evidence are you referring to?
Sarah: A hotel keycard in his work bag. Messages in the team group chat. Location history showing he was at the hotel during “work retreats.” And a private message from another colleague confirming they’ve been seeing each other for months.
Colleague’s Lawyer (present):
Objection. These are private matters between consenting adults. They do not fall under company policy.
HR Manager: Overruled for now. Ms. Bennett may continue.
Sarah: He told me every trip was strictly work. She sent photos of the hotel room in the group chat and thanked him for booking it. Other colleagues already knew. Nobody told me. And when I reported it, I was told to “keep it professional” and not let it affect the team.
HR Manager: Did you confront either of them before bringing this to HR?
Sarah: I tried. He said the keycard belonged to a junior staff member. She blocked me. Then I got a message from another teammate saying most of the department already knew and just didn’t want to get involved.
Colleague’s Lawyer: Ms. Bennett, isn’t it possible that you’re misinterpreting normal work interactions?
Sarah: A hotel keycard, hotel room photos, and a colleague warning me that they’ve been together for months is not a normal work interaction.
HR Manager: Do you have copies of these messages?
Sarah: Yes. I have screenshots, the keycard, and the message from the other colleague. I also have his location history from the nights he claimed he was in meetings.
HR Manager: We’ll review the evidence. Both parties will be given a chance to respond.
This hearing is now adjourned.
The room goes quiet as everyone stands up. Sarah still hasn’t looked at her husband.
