Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack) header
Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack) profile picture

Former Teenage Hand Model

@halo2mappack

I'm my own deus ex machina | he/him

Joined April 2023
  • Tweets18.4K
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  • Followers673
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Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)Photo by Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)
I am the only person who understands Metal Gear Solid V
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“Tragically, a foreign influence bribing our politicians and receiving billions in tax dollars to commit genocide is being ripped apart by another foreign influence.”
Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) profile pictureTed Cruz
@tedcruz6h
Tragically, every word of this is accurate. It’s a foreign influence op that is ripping our Nation apart 👇👇👇
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I would like to publicly announce that I don’t ascribe to record player fudd lore anymore. Go ahead and buy that shitty Victrola all-in-one player, it probably won’t hurt your records actually youtu.be/kZOj-eO8Mvw?is=B5Kl…
Three-way vinyl record wear test

Three-way vinyl record wear test

Lots of people talk and worry about vinyl records wearing out, but ...

youtube.com
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I can think of like 12 people off the top of my head
Thaddeus Russell (@ThaddeusRussell) profile pictureThaddeus Russell
@ThaddeusRussellNov 9
No one believes Russell Brand actually raped anyone. That's what's terrifying.
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Kinda pissed off because America seems to have not researched school resource officer policy at fucking all. Trying to write a paper but you just can’t find studies of incident rates, response times, academic outcomes, etc before-after implementation. Nobody cared ig
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Everything I find reinforces my belief, but it’s all fucking anecdotal. Very few people studied this shit at all, and when they did, they came up inconclusive. Wdym we’ve been running this policy for 40 years with no provable outcomes? Are we all fucking idiots?
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Thank you QOTSA for releasing your worst and shortest album ever and then teasing even more terrible deluxe edition songs less than 2 weeks later
QOTSA (@qotsa) profile pictureQOTSA
@qotsaNov 10
Coming Soon… Subscribe on YouTube: QOTSA.lnk.to/YTSubscribe
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GTA VI is a console exclusive that “targets 30fps” on consoles that were sold with 4k 120fps on the box. Super fucking embarrassing for everyone involved
Wario64 (@Wario64) profile pictureWario64
@Wario64Nov 10
Grand Theft Auto VI - targeting 30 FPS PS5 Pro - PSSR and ray-traced shadows supported Xbox Cloud Gaming supported & remote play support on PS5/Xbox rockstargames.com/newswire/a…
Image from Wario64 (@Wario64)
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I do think there’s a chance Trump 2.5 just rolls over and gives the left populists a field day, in hopes that he’ll avoid spending the last <10 years of his life in court and maybe even get to keep his name on a few buildings
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This whole second term has been about his legacy. He has 2 options now. Play Mr. Veto and spend the rest of his life answering to subpoenas and having his family’s pet projects and businesses torn down, or he can just sign whatever and keep building his ball room probably
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I wonder if Alan is going to bring his life story full circle in AW3 (Wow look at that acronym). In AW2, he affected Alex Casey’s past with the Cult of the Word. In AW3, will he retell his own history to find Alice in the Dark Place, thus causing his past self to meet Alice?
Image from Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)
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Night Watchmen carrying a gun and light, AWE, meeting Alice. Hell what about the Clicker? What if his future self wrote his own history, his own clichés, all from the Dark Place? “I’m my own deus ex machina.”
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Obviously there’s plenty of literal dementia in AW2, but the dementia patients you meet are mostly harmed by Alan’s writing. Pat didn’t forget Wendy died. Cynthia didn’t lose the Angel Lamp or forget Tom’s job, it all changed around them, like Saga and Watery
Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack) profile pictureFormer Teenage Hand Model@halo2mappackNov 7
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone discuss Alan Wake 2 being about dementia. Aging, sure. But the Dark Place is dementia. Alan loses time, his reality is makes no sense, he lashes out, hurts people, terrorizes Alice, but they still care for him. Everyone knows that’s not him.
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This is really what seats most of AW2’s story neatly into place. Everything is retconned. Tom did and didn’t exist, he was and wasn’t a poet, Diver’s Isle did and didn’t sink, Saga did and didn’t live in Watery. The town is made of people and places with competing histories.
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I don’t think I’ve seen anyone discuss Alan Wake 2 being about dementia. Aging, sure. But the Dark Place is dementia. Alan loses time, his reality is makes no sense, he lashes out, hurts people, terrorizes Alice, but they still care for him. Everyone knows that’s not him.
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I’m not really sure why I continue buying records if all I listen to is Fugazi
Image from Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)
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I’ve yet to meet someone who disagrees with my politics. They might be fucking idiots and it all might leak out of their head the moment they walk away, but they don’t disagree. I bat 100 every time
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I don’t want to write anymore 3 point essays using citations from academic databases. I do not believe it’s a productive use of time. Nobody is made a better writer for this. Nobody fucking writes like this.
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Put my phone on monochrome mode and it actually hurts now to turn it off
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I don’t think I ever actually beat AW2 final draft
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Image from Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)
sagojr (rex) (@rexie_pac) profile picturesagojr (rex)@rexie_pacNov 4
name an album where the intro immediately lets you know you're about to experience greatness.
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Max Payne 2 above Max Payne 1 is always funny to me. “Please, give me a slower lamer story and boring levels and easier combat and horrible audio mixing and please PLEASE turn the saturation down 50%”
PC Gamer (@pcgamer) profile picturePC Gamer
@pcgamerNov 3
The PC Gamer team has spent months campaigning, voting and arguing their case for the best games you can play on PC right now. Here's the result: The PC Gamer Top 100 for 2026. pcgamer.com/games/the-top-10…
The top 100 PC games

The top 100 PC games

PC Gamer's annual list of the 100 best PC games you can play—updated for 2026

pcgamer.com
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MP2 has funny physics and a cool end credits theme, I’ll give you that. I’m just baffled that people treat it like a masterpiece over the first game. Cool peripheral storytelling doesn’t make up for ripping the sci-fi and psychological elements and all the color out of the walls
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Health insurance just shouldn’t exist. It shouldn’t even be a combination of words
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Dark Marty Lost.
Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack) profile pictureFormer Teenage Hand Model@halo2mappack5 Mar 2024
For the record, this is why I had to lock down yesterday. Marty's fans didn't like that I pressed him on basic issues so they doxxed me. Martin O'Donnell's Congressional campaign for the 3rd District of Nevada is off to a great start, doxxing people in it's first 24hrs
Image from Former Teenage Hand Model (@halo2mappack)
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