john v. variety ❤️.U.∞ OUT NOW

My new LP, shortly after we sold out of it on tour, has had its initial single chosen as a PITCHFORK SELECT!!! We've broken 1k! This is unthinkable! Thank you @JOHNMAUS for this insane exposure! Tapes shipping, CDs being made. Single clip below, buy on bandcamp/stream on all! Xox

Plato’s cave but it’s me dipping my shutterstock Belgian fries into the shadow of a bowl of ketchup

I am on too many drugs at the devils by Ken Russell and @niccagefan666 and @dinosaur_info aren’t on as many and I am the only person entering the film. Help. I live with these sassy nuns. Get me out of the devils please

People on here who love to not consider what they’re gonna say at all absolutely adore telling you to “think about it”

I’m not sure I have a problem with Buzzcocks being considered proto “indie rock”. I’ve always thought “I Don’t Mind” belonged on a bleeding heart slacker album. It’s by far the most neurotic and self deprecating punk song by miles and it also sounds like stop motion park antics

There is no better feeling than your favorite local ally being seen the way you’ve always seen them :,). I have embarrassed him at over 30 gigs we’ve done together by saying this but, Chuck is the best, listen, and fuck every moron who talked shit about that noise improv set lol

Me . Me . Me by Air Miami! 90s Teen Beat! Mbrs Unrest! Recently remastered! The best rock song about wanting to die of all time!!!!

This feels like one of those things that I 100% thought already happened years ago, like when Coolio died

I honestly think these apps are like a twilight zone level insane invention. The phones betrayed us and conspired to get us fired so we have heart attack apps that start your day with urgent horror. It’s like a sick joke on the “they feed us poison” meme we did to ourselves

I would like to recommend this man for rhe next democratic primaries.

This is a core issue of spending your life with me. It always seems sweet but I’m actually an insane person

🎶wish U would step back from that pop revisionism You could, cut ties, with nursery rhymes, and offensive lyricism And if we never mentioned this band again That would kick real ass

I can’t believe they turned my favorite childhood video game into a modern video game that has the graphics and features children like now, instead of teaching them the beauty of lo res (aka Liminal) textures and making them read the prima guide at borders

Richard Lloyd saw the hot takes you guys were posting about how Marquee Moon is overrated for some esoteric pretentious reason but has good polyrhythms or w/e. His last words were that you were dumb little bitches who deserve Conservative Television aka Dire Straits

There should be a cool vehicle in which Rob Zombie could slam in the back of as well as use to dig through the ditches etc.; sadly this is impossible to enact in reality, as there is no name for the car that could possibly be as fittingly cool

“Lmao is that how John Wilson sounds” bro he is just an unabashed anxious nerd. You guys had covid induced reverence for Bo Burnham. You’ve made me see Burnham Footage. That’s like trying to kill me

Is it because me and @niccagefan666 are like a lewd gay couple on here or is everyone else getting an endless amount of these threads that are all like “A weak man wants her to cum. He asks if it’s good. Here’s what a stud does…”. It’s perplexing. It’s like smut written by kids

This guy’s intellectual capacity has remained identical to this for the successive 15 years. It’s actually kind of impressive, to stay so banal and stupid