#1 samir (@samir) header
#1 samir (@samir) profile picture

I tour wild homes. EP (and creator) of @zillowgonewild on HGTV and @kalesalad. I'm an account on the internet

New York City
Joined February 2010
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If you steal 5,000 rare ants from a nature reserve in England, the best estimate of the total number of stolen rare ants is not 5,000
Thieves stole an entire nest containing up to 5,000 rare ants from a nature reserve in England The narrow-headed ants were taken from their last remaining habitat in England, with conservationists warning the theft could undo years of efforts to protect the species
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wait the spys last name was also huang? maybe he thought they were married
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how are all these bots verified, whats the credit card bill like
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You know when you think about something and then see it in your feed? I was thinking about how dumb woodpeckers are this morning banging their heads at the tree and then I see this
A headbutt that can take anyone out needs this kind of precision
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If you find two cookies in your kitchen, the best estimate of the total number of cookies in your kitchen is not two. Where the fuck are the other cookies though?????
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There isn’t a scenario in your life where this isn’t applicable
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If I had the @ heightlengthening instagram id go to surgery school to be a lengthening influencer too
This 40 year old woman who did the height lengthening surgery to go from 5 ft to 5’5” is probably the person I want to talk to the most on this planet
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I’m here for a job
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there is no way this is a simulation because if it was it would be powered by NVIDIA and they would not have programmed this news into it about their overlord
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The smartest thing you can do is be in the news right after halloween, that means you will be 6-8,000 news cycles away from the time people will be looking at the news to consider what they should be for halloween
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we need a full inventory of everything going on in the world
Russell Brand’s pubic hair is no longer on display at a London museum of curiosities following the comedian’s conviction and sentencing for rape and sexual assault. “I took them straight off display and have no desire to hear his name again – he has no place in my museum of horrors,” the museum collector said. variety.com/2026/global/news…
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Reporting for duty from the Bloomberg Pantry today if anyone needs a snack or a cold brew or some financial information
Everyone wants to tell me how great their office pantry is but after the Bloomberg pantry nothing can surprise me. The Bloomberg pantry is the size of a small regional airport. The Bloomberg pantry has a fresh peanut butter machine and matcha on tap. The Bloomberg pantry makes the Thrive Capital pantry look positively soviet. Its memory will drive you to tears whenever you visit another newsroom
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In Duane Reade in the UES and an old lady just walked in passed the cashier and she’s like “Hey my Love” to the cashier 🥹
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Baby’s first iPhone Duo sighting
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Just got my 2026 Avatar Clicked Unwrapped and ranked in the top 1% of Oh That’s Not Them That’s Lana Del Rey
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East coast culture is better than west coast culture because we don’t have to deal with Festival People
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If you say this sentence three times fast perfectly a genie will grant you three wishes. But if you make a mistake you will be cursed for 1,000 years
Diane von Fürstenberg’s granddaughter Talita marries Rocco Brignone de Brabant in lavish Mexico celebration trib.al/YGVt3Es
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We complain that NYc smells like weed now but it’s better than the pee it used to smell like
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