patriot problem child

Congratulations, America! You voted for cheaper fucking groceries and got a congressional revenge squad of subpoena-humping, power-drunk assholes instead. Democrats spent an entire election screeching about affordability, promising relief to struggling families, and pretending to give a flying fuck about your bills. Then they won Congress and immediately developed a collective, throbbing hard-on for politically destroying everyone who ever worked for, supported, or so much as shook hands with Donald Trump. Elizabeth Warren is promising investigations into "cheaters" she can't even fucking identify. Jamie Raskin is sharpening his little congressional hatchet for corporations and law firms that committed the unforgivable sin of cooperating with a Republican president. And Robert Garcia, that pompous, subpoena-sniffing little jackass, is prancing around yelling "Lawyer up!" like some discount television prosecutor with a law degree from the University of Fucking Around and Finding Out. Ask him to identify an actual crime, however, and suddenly the mighty crusader is reduced to mumbling about things being "possibly illegal." Holy fucking shit. These clowns have already picked their targets, rehearsed their threats, and started measuring the gallows before figuring out what anybody supposedly did wrong. Then there's Elissa Slotkin, whose brilliant contribution to American democracy is wanting young people terrified of accepting jobs in a Republican administration. Imagine being such a vindictive, authoritarian-minded asshole that frightening Americans away from public service becomes a goddamn political objective. Meanwhile, some exhausted father is standing in Walmart calculating whether he can afford hamburger, eggs, and enough gasoline to get to work tomorrow, while these self-important congressional parasites are practically jerking themselves raw over their shiny new subpoena powers. What a breathtaking fucking disgrace. The rent is due. Insurance premiums are crushing families. Grocery bills are eating paychecks alive. And the politicians who exploited that desperation to win power are now salivating over political enemies lists like a pack of rabid bureaucratic hyenas discovering the federal government comes with unlimited stationery and subpoena forms. Here's the truly dangerous part: Every corporation, attorney, government employee, and young American watching this vindictive circus is receiving the same filthy message. Cooperate with the wrong administration, support the wrong president, or exercise the wrong political judgment, and these power-drunk bastards will make your life a living legal and financial hell. That's the fucking nightmare they're advertising as accountability. Democrats promised to lower the cost of living. They've instead announced their intention to make political disagreement as expensive, frightening, and professionally ruinous as possible. Congratulations, America. The only goddamn thing Democrats have made affordable is political persecution. And those vindictive motherfuckers are apparently offering it wholesale. (article below)