Why don't you go to hell! and while you're there, get me a juice box
Joined April 2009
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Tyler J S retweeted
University debate: "The most vegan meal on earth is a grass-fed steak."
Vegan: "I'm sorry, I've read the motion three times. Is it a misprint?"
Anthropologist: "No."
Vegan: "You're going to stand in front of four hundred people and tell them a steak is vegan."
Anthropologist: "The most vegan. I'd like credit for the full claim."
Vegan: "It's a dead cow."
Anthropologist: "One. What did you have for lunch?"
Vegan: "A lentil and rice bowl. Nothing died for it."
Anthropologist: "It came off a ploughed field. Mice, voles, ground nests, every insect in it, cleared out several times a year by a machine the width of this stage. One bullock feeds a person for twelve months. I'm on one death. You lost count at the starter."
Vegan: "Those are accidents."
Anthropologist: "I'll let the voles know it wasn't personal."
Vegan: "Fine. The planet. Cattle take up enormous amounts of land."
Anthropologist: "Hill, rain and grass. Land no plough can touch. He eats what grew there by itself and nobody has to clear a thing. Your lentils needed the field emptied first."
Vegan: "We could rewild it."
Anthropologist: "With what?"
Vegan: "...Grazing animals."
Anthropologist: "I've brought some."
Vegan: "This is absurd. Humans can get everything they need from plants."
Anthropologist: "There's a lawn outside. Help yourself."
Vegan: "We can't digest grass."
Anthropologist: "He can. Four stomachs and a vat of bacteria. He's the only system on earth that gets everything out of a plant, and he hands it over as protein, iron and the B12 you're taking as a tablet."
Vegan: "So your argument is that the cow is vegan."
Anthropologist: "Strictly. Never touched meat in his life. I'm simply eating a plant-based diet that's been finished properly."
Vegan: "You cannot call that vegan."
Anthropologist: "Fewest deaths, no plough, no supplements. If you've a better word for what you were after, I'll use it."
Moderator: "Time."
Vegan: "I'd like the motion read out again."
Moderator: "It's still not a misprint."
Tyler J S retweeted
“Get the really nice tv it’ll be so great for sports”
The big TV when sports are on:
Tyler J S retweeted
Today, we remember a legend.
On this day in history, Harambe would have celebrated another birthday. An icon that became part of internet history, American culture, and an entire generation’s timeline.
Tomorrow marks 10 years since we lost him. Ten years since the moment the world stopped scrolling and collectively mourned something bigger than a meme.
He became a symbol of loyalty, strength, chaos, unity, and the strange beauty of the internet bringing millions of people together for one cause: never forgetting Harambe.
Everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news. And somehow, a decade later, his legacy still lives on.
Gone, but never forgotten.
Rest easy to a true patriot. 🕊️🇺🇸
May 27, 1999 — May 28, 2016
Forever in our hearts.
Tyler J S retweeted
What Matt Fitz did for his younger brother this week is the equivalent of when you’re 16 and your 21 year old brother gets you and your buddies a 30 rack of natty lights and you are forever grateful
Tyler J S retweeted
Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don’t really mean it.
Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they don’t mean it either. 😂
Tyler J S retweeted
Tonight, we wear black armbands in memory of Ilona Löwen.
Our thoughts are with Edu Löwen, his family, and everyone at @stlCITYsc during this difficult time.
Tyler J S retweeted
Watching this on repeat until Sunday morning. 🇺🇸🦅
#TeamUSA #WinterOlympics
Tyler J S retweeted
I could run through a brick wall right now!!
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 USA USA USA USA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸xitter.twitterapi.xyz/TopTierState/status/20…
Tyler J S retweeted
Divorce rates are high in this generation for one simple reason. People don't understand what marriage actually is. Social media made everyone believe there's always someone better out there, a richer man, a prettier woman, a more exciting life, but comparison kills loyalty.
People want weddings, not marriages. They'll spend months planning a ceremony and zero time learning how to communicate when things get hard. Nobody knows how to argue anymore.
They yell, they shut down, they run instead of learning how to fight for each other. Money pressure exposes weak foundations. Instead of building together, couples turn on each other, men stop leading, women stop respecting their men, temptation is everywhere. Now everyone uses therapy words to escape accountability. Everything is toxic, everything is trauma. Nothing is ever their fault.
There's no community pressure to stay married anymore. No elders saying work it out. Just friends saying leave. You deserve better. Kids became optional, sacrifice became outdated and vows became suggestions.
Marriage used to mean I'll suffer with you. Now it means I'll stay as long as I'm happy. And that's why divorce is high. Because people don't know how to suffer together.
They only know how to quit when excitement is no longer there.
We are in the trenches!!
Tyler J S retweeted
.@POTUS: "We're here today to announce a historic victory for American women, mothers, and families. With the actions I will outline this afternoon, we'll dramatically slash the cost of IVF, and many of the most common fertility drugs... prices are going way down."
Tyler J S retweeted
Showed my dad the Larry David vs. Bluetooth Guy clip for the first time yesterday and it brought instant laughter, so gotta re-up this one again.
“So I was tryin’ to brush my teeth with an apple. It was horrible. Horrible!”
[via @BackAftaThis]
Tyler J S retweeted
I once asked one of the best hockey players of the Gretsky era why Wayne never seemed to get body checked too much?
“Because we are smart enough to protect the guy who made us all millionaires.”
Tyler J S retweeted
Julius Randle on being mentored by Kobe Bryant: “I grew up in Dallas, so I had this early-season road game against the Mavericks circled on my calendar. I was excited. Excited to feel that sense of accomplishment, of being that kid from your neighborhood growing up who made it to the league.
So then we get off the plane, we ride to the hotel, and — ha. Wow. I will never forget this. We’re coming up on the hotel in Dallas, and Kobe turns to me and he goes, ‘Julius, what you bout to do.’
I’m like, ‘I’m about to see my family, chill with some friends, you know. Have a night.’
And Kobe, he just cuts me off. He’s like, ‘Nah. We’re going to the gym.’
I mean, that right there, it’s just the power of Kobe. If anyone else in the world had said that to me, in that moment, I might have hit ’em with an eye roll and went on with my business. But when Mamba is telling you that it’s a change of plans, and you’re coming with him to the gym tonight? You don’t ask questions. You just do as you’re told.
And of course Kobe knew we were in my hometown. Of course he knew. But that wasn’t him being a bad dude or anything. It was more like — it was him trying to use the situation to teach me a lesson. The lesson being: To get to the next level in this league, you can’t be putting in that next level of work only some of the time. Has to be all of the time. No such thing as sacrifice without sacrifice.
That was November 2015, Kobe’s last season. And from then on, everything he showed me that night, straight up: it’s become my routine. If we’re on a road trip, as soon as we get off the plane, there you go, that’s my night — before I do anything else. I’m heading to the gym, I’m getting my shots up, I’m putting in my work....
I guess how that story connects this season to everything else for me, is like: I think I’ve always known what a blessing it was that I got to be teammates with Kobe for his last two years in the league. I’ve really understood why Kobe mentored younger players like me. Not just so we could flourish ourselves, but so we could pass down what we learned to other players as well.” playerstribu.ne/JuliusRandle
