spiderman91 retweeted
Pull up to Taco Bell drive thru.
“We is short staffed can you come inside?”
“I’m sorry what?”
“We is short staffed….can you come inside?”
Anyway I just made monkey noises and drove off.
spiderman91 retweeted
The older I get, the more I realize I’m actually fine with it getting dark at 5 PM.
Dinner at 6:00? Absolutely.
Pajamas by 7? Even better.
In bed by 8? Don’t threaten me with a good time.
spiderman91 retweeted
“ Dating a fat girl with a pretty face is like investing into a solid company early at a low price. Not much risk and really good reward ”
- my uncle at dinner tonight after deleting his 6th beer at Applebees
spiderman91 retweeted
Nothing is hotter than when you go off on a man over something minor & he's chill about it
Shouldn't hit send, this is forbidden knowledge
spiderman91 retweeted
Pound for pound, this is one of the greatest tweets ever on this site. Never fails to make me laugh.
spiderman91 retweeted
🚨 AMAZING: Gov. Ron DeSantis has paid off 54% of ALL the debt Florida ever racked up, and cut the budget 4 years STRAIGHT.
That is how you run a state. PROUD to be a Floridian!
